Sometimes Scars Are Tracks
by solongthen
Summary: Is Haley really okay after Carrie's attack? A tag to episode 605.


**Summary/Spoilers:** This is not the best piece of writing but it's sad how the show always disregards important events and just passes them by, such as Carrie almost killing Haley and kidnapping Jamie again. I really doubt Haley can be okay just after two weeks so I wrote a short little tag following those events. Feedback is always appreciated!

**A/N:** I don't own anything!

**Sometimes Scars Are Tracks**

**Saturday**

Her head was still aching and she knew that if she ran her fingers over it, she'd feel the deep cut that had had eight stitches on it. It burned, it ached, and it was sore but nothing beat the ache she felt in her heart. An ache so deep no wound could compete with it. This was becoming routine, her waking up in cold sweat, having kicked the covers off her body, her heart beating a mile a minute. She had to go check on him. Just to see him, hear him breathe, she just had to.

Haley stood up on wobbly feat, glancing over her shoulder at her sleeping husband. She didn't want to wake up; he was sleeping restlessly as it was already. She walked slowly over the floor, taking a deep breath before pushing open the door to her son's room, instantly hearing his small intakes of breath. Haley listened for a moment before letting go of the breath she had been holding. He was okay.

Logically, she knew he was safe. _She_ was dead. _She_…was dead. Haley still couldn't say _her_ name. She who haunted her dreams and her thoughts while awake. Everyone had been asking if she was okay, if she needed anything. But she kindly declined and in stead plastered on a smile. Eventually they had let it go, slipping back into their daily routines but she knew Nathan knew something was going on, but he wasn't pushing, something Haley was grateful for. After all she was fine, if only so physically.

She walked back to her bedroom, seeing Nathan still asleep, the red numbers of the clock changing to 7.04 am. It was a Saturday, the day they all usually slept in before having a family breakfast. Haley slowly turned from the bed, walking into the bathroom, slowly pushing the door half shut before flicking on the light.

Her eyes looked tired, small bags spearing under her eyes. Her hair was a mess and she still had a few bruises and scratches. But the mirror told her the same story yet again: you're okay.

"Babe? What are you doing up already?" Haley flicked her eyes and caught a glimpse of her husband in the mirror before turning and meeting his groggy eyes.

"I just couldn't sleep." She gave a small smile but not being able to keep it on her lips, so she just shrugged and busied herself with her toothbrush and toothpaste. Nathan looked at her silently. He knew. They both knew.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Haley stared at herself in the mirror, the toothbrush halting in her mouth before looking at her husband and repeating the words the mirror had told her.

"I'm okay."

**Sunday**

"Haley?" She sat on the bed, facing the bathroom door, hearing Nathan call her name.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." This time not a question, more like a reassurance for her. She was okay…right?

She heard him walk closer, feeling the bed dip a little at his weight and she felt him sit beside her.

"You know I'm here if you need me, baby." Haley nodded mutely, still staring into space.

"Where's Jamie?"

"Lucas came by, offered to take him for ice-cream and some Guitar Hero playing." She heard the smile in his voice before her head snapped up.

"You let Lucas take him?" Haley turned her head, her words coming out like an accusation. Nathan looked at her, surprised by her sudden outburst.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"Is it a problem? Of course it's a problem! How could you let someone take Jamie? It's not safe, Nathan! Anything could happen!" She rushed up, ready to bolt when she felt Nathan's arm on hers.

"Hales…"

"Let go of me! I have to go call Lucas! He has to bring Jamie back here." She felt the panic well up now. She had to know he was okay. She had to know. She struggled against Nathan's hand now, but only felt his grip tighten more.

"Haley. Calm down, Jamie is fine. Lucas is taking care of him." She felt her whole body shaking. She knew Lucas would take care of him, he was Jamie's uncle, and he loved Jamie but what about her? She was his mother and she had almost let him get hurt too. Some parent she was.

"Let go, Nathan!" She felt him grip her with both arms now, pulling her into his body.

"No." His voice was firm, but calm and he held her in place without much effort. "No, I won't let you go, Haley." Haley tried to breathe, trying to get a hold of her body, breathing in and breathing out. Nathan wouldn't let go of her and she knew she wouldn't stand a chance against him. But she was angry. She was furious, she was hurt. How could he let Jamie go off like that, without telling her?

"Why didn't you ask me?" She had calmed down but her voice was strained and angry. Nathan didn't loosen his grip.

"Because we need to talk and Jamie will be fine." His voice was still calm and firm, the voice that always made her feel safe and protected. "Haley, you need to talk to me."

"The way you talked to me during the months following your accident when I had to make the decisions, take care of Jamie, and take care of you and our life? Were you talking to me then, were you saving me then?" Her head whipped up and she felt the tears burn like traitors behind her eyes. Nathan looked her square in the eye, still gripping her softly but firmly.

"You're right, you were alone Haley, but you're not alone now. You'll never be alone. I know what it did to me, to us…believe me I know, Hales. But you need to talk to me, baby." '

Haley felt the tears now, angrily letting them fall as she looked at Nathan.

"What do you want to talk about? How our son almost died? How I was knocked out and stupid enough to leave my son in the car, to even take him with me? How I let _her_ into our lives, trusting _her_ and letting _her_ tear our family down? How I trusted you but how you failed me. How alone I felt, how alone I feel now? About nightmares I have every night, the guilt I feel? Is that what you want to talk about, Nathan?" The tears kept on running but Haley let them this time.

"Yes. That's what I want to talk about." She felt her husband pull her into his body slowly and feeling her resist at first, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in fully and tucking her against his chest, the chest that fit her body perfectly. Her body shook, feeling herself breaking down, the exterior she had put up was coming down, yet Haley felt herself not caring.

"It's okay, baby. Just let it out." Slowly she let herself fall against his strong chest, gripping his shirt in her hands as her tears soaked the fabric. It was time to let go of _her_, and it was time to let go of the anger and guilt. So Haley cried, she cried long and let her husband pull her onto the bed, pulling her into his chest once again and cradling her shaking body. It was his turn to take care of her now. She had done her part and Haley was so exhausted. She felt it in every bone of her body.

Eventually, her tears stopped running but Nathan kept holding her, kissing her head, stroking her hair, his other arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Haley's eyes caught the framed picture of the three of them on the nightstand and slowly she felt a small relieved smile grace her lips. It was small, but it was still there.


End file.
